The last couple of weeks have been so busy - my little girl had her tonsils and adenoids removed and I was working hard to get everyone ready for school. I've still practiced my acts of kindness every day, but haven't had the time to document everything. So, here's a quick, not-as-dolled-up-as-I-would-like list of what I've done:
Day 3 - I woke up early and got outside and cleaned our family van (my husband is the primary driver and uses it often for home-improvement projects). I vacuumed, scrubbed, wiped, you name it - the whole process took me three hours and it went from grimy and icky to shiny and pristine. And, it was all done before he woke up. I never mentioned to him how I had spent my morning and when he went to run an errand later in the day was very surprised by his clean van. It made him really happy and he's mentioned it several times since. :)
Day 4 - I wrote anonymous letters to a couple of sweet friends, letting them know how special they are and how much I appreciate them.
Day 5 - I drove with kindness. I know that may sound kind of hokey, but driving through rush hour in Utah is no walk in the park. I'll just leave it at that... This was the perfect day for it, too because I drove through an accident that had a rolled over truck on my left and a fire on my right (I know, right?!). I was super-courteous and my experience through the traffic accident was very easy because of it. And, it left me in an overall great mood for the day - it's amazing how much driving stress is our own fault.
Day 6 - I set aside special time to play with my daughter. She hadn't been feeling well and her most favorite thing in the world is hanging out with me. I was glad to do it. I really should do it more often.
Day 7 - I left a Dt. Coke for a friend who had been out for an entire week and was sure to have a stressful full day back to work.
Day 8 - I donated school supplies to a local organization that was providing the supplies to under-privileged children in our area.
Day 9 - I smiled at everyone I passed. I often get discouraged by the lack of smiling here. I grew up in Texas where, when you smile, the person you smile at smiles back (or smiles at you first). I'm kind of spoiled in the way I expect everyone to be happy to see everyone. Here in Utah, it's a little different. I have often smiled at people and gotten the "I wish you would die," look. I try to remind myself that what they are giving has nothing to do with me, but it's still not pleasant. So, I went out of my way to smile at everyone - to pass on the cheer.
Day 10 - A little different - it was a kindness to the sad animals who never get played with at PetSmart. I took my kids - who LOVE animals - to play with the kitties. We held a few and the kids played with all of them and the kitties really, really appreciated it.
Day 11 - I left an encouraging note for a friend who looked like she was having a rough day.
Day 12 - I surprised my kids with a trip to their favorite ice cream shop for an after-the-first-day-of-school treat. They LOVED it and were so happy to spend some time there - it gave us a great opportunity to talk about their first day (and the owner gave them free waffle crisps - it pays to be cute!).
Phew! Caught up! In other news, my husband and I will be starting a Biggest Loser challenge (with real money involved - talk about incentive!) on Sunday. Any pointers out there? I want to win this baby!!
Showing posts with label Happiness Project. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happiness Project. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Able, Acceptance
“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am.”
-Thomas Merton
Last week I had the opportunity to attend a training session at my work on Emotional
Intelligence. I spent five years studying Interpersonal Communication, so I ate this one up! During the training, we were asked to take an assessment on how effectively we perceive others and ourselves. My perception of others and their communication with me was off the charts. I can read people well, relate to how they are feeling, and know how to work effectively with them. However, when it comes to knowing who I am and how I’m feeling, well, I kind of suck at it. I realized after taking this assessment that I often base my opinion of myself off of what others think of me, whether they communicate their feelings toward me verbally or I perceive it from their actions and behaviors. This, of course, is an extremely risky way to build a self-assessment. I can spend half of my day feeling awesome because I’m around happy, positive people, and then turn around and walk around with a dark cloud hanging over my head because I was around a negative, critical person. That’s just no way to live. But, that is how I’ve lived my life.
Intelligence. I spent five years studying Interpersonal Communication, so I ate this one up! During the training, we were asked to take an assessment on how effectively we perceive others and ourselves. My perception of others and their communication with me was off the charts. I can read people well, relate to how they are feeling, and know how to work effectively with them. However, when it comes to knowing who I am and how I’m feeling, well, I kind of suck at it. I realized after taking this assessment that I often base my opinion of myself off of what others think of me, whether they communicate their feelings toward me verbally or I perceive it from their actions and behaviors. This, of course, is an extremely risky way to build a self-assessment. I can spend half of my day feeling awesome because I’m around happy, positive people, and then turn around and walk around with a dark cloud hanging over my head because I was around a negative, critical person. That’s just no way to live. But, that is how I’ve lived my life.
So, I think I, finally, have found a real purpose for this blog. Discovering who I am and helping that person shine through. I heard from someone that it shouldn’t be a focus on what I want to do – because making a to do list that I just don’t have the time or energy to follow will just be disheartening. I should focus on what I want to be. So, this is what I will do.
As I was taking time to think this morning (which is a rare opportunity – to have enough solitude and quiet to actually think), I decided that today I would focus on being able and accepting. To be able, I will allow myself to believe that I can do just about anything. I actually took 5 minutes to do that 40-30-20-10 workout that boasts burning 100 calories, which seems to be a stretch (40 jumping jacks, 30 crunches, 20 squats, 10 pushups). I did it because I had a few minutes of waiting for my daughter this morning. I did it because I could, and it added just a little extra boost to my morning, giving me a bit more greatly needed energy. Allowing me to be able has also opened up the windows of my mind and made a better writer and communicator at work. I’ve had a pretty intense block the last while and it was wonderful to feel that freeing, able feeling.
In being accepting, I not only will let others be who they are and love them for it, but to let myself be who I am and love myself for it (it’s OK that I continuously leave my car keys by the kitchen sink!). Granted, I’m still figuring out who I am (well, I figured it out a long time ago, I’m reacquainting myself with me), but I am allowing myself to be absolutely accepting of the person I am and love the person I am.
I have to say, that this new way of looking at things has been very freeing. I’ve felt happier today than I have in quite some time. My self worth does not stem on what others think of me or on how they perceive me. They don’t know every part of me and have no leg to stand on in their judgments. Nor do they have a right to judge me – especially negatively. Only I truly know myself and only once I fully come to love and accept the person I am will other areas of my life come in order and bring joy to me and those around me.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
September - Tune In
I read somewhere that September is the new January - another opportunity to start fresh. Routines are solidifying and everyone has something to do and I am certainly seeking ways to follow through with my personal and family tasks in a much more effective manner.
I had a plan for what my happiness project for September would be and then I had a total paradigm shift that left me kind of grasping for goals that would better fit my current needs and help me grow in ways that are absolutely necessary at this time.
As a preface to my explanation of how I came to decide upon my goals, I will tell you that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (yep, like Mitt). On the first Sunday of each month, we have the opportunity to fast - go without meals or drinks for 2-3 meals and donate the money we would have spent on those meals to a fund set aside specifically for the needy. Fasting is difficult, but always provides me with wonderful insight that I doubt I would have received otherwise. Today I fasted for some specific guidance and throughout the day continued to hear the scripture "...by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." I still haven't found out specifically what that means - perhaps just that I don't need to do anything grandiose to improve myself, rather small and simple things.
So, here are my goals for the month of September:
Read scriptures daily
I do set aside time for it each day in my OCD day planning, but never seem to actually sit down and do it. It really does enrich my life when I make the time for it. I'm more in tune with myself and with the spirit and can just seem to handle life better.
See people/situations as they are
I have the problem with internalizing/projecting my feelings. When I feel a certain way about my self (ex: disappointed), I immediately assume that everyone else does, too. When I don't particularly like myself or think I look fat, I think everyone else feels the same way, piling on the misery. Really, this is my number one problem in life. I don't see things as they are, I see them a I am (see more here). I know that I can stop doing this - it just takes a lot of self-control.
I also want to see the best in the people around me - to recognize that each and every person is a child of God and give them the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to do their very best.
Love with patience and optimism
Everyone deserves a little patience. I need to count to 10 more and give the people around me a chance before casting judgment, as mentioned above. I also need to stop allowing myself to focus on the negative. Not only does it make me feel icky, but I know it pushes people away. I will start conversations on a positive note. If I have something negative to say, I'll say 3 positive things first.
Be open - don't control - allow things to happen in their own way
When things get stressful, I become a control freak. I try to perfectly orchestrate things so that nothing can go awry. Unfortunately, keeping such tight reigns on my life is not only exhausting, but also takes the magic out of living. Wonderful things happen on their own all of the time when you're not forcing things along. You're able to experience a little whimsy and sometimes the best memories come out of spontaneity. Also, when I loosen the reigns, I allow the Lord to have more of a hand in my life and allow Him to lead me on the paths that will make me into a better me - that make my weaknesses strengths.
I will keep tabs via my own little accountability chart to remind me to do these things each day and hope that these goals will make me a happier, more edified me next month at this time.
I also want to record on this blog my Intuitive Eating process, but will hold off on that for another post. It's going to be separate from my happiness project, but just as important.
Happy September!
I had a plan for what my happiness project for September would be and then I had a total paradigm shift that left me kind of grasping for goals that would better fit my current needs and help me grow in ways that are absolutely necessary at this time.
As a preface to my explanation of how I came to decide upon my goals, I will tell you that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (yep, like Mitt). On the first Sunday of each month, we have the opportunity to fast - go without meals or drinks for 2-3 meals and donate the money we would have spent on those meals to a fund set aside specifically for the needy. Fasting is difficult, but always provides me with wonderful insight that I doubt I would have received otherwise. Today I fasted for some specific guidance and throughout the day continued to hear the scripture "...by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." I still haven't found out specifically what that means - perhaps just that I don't need to do anything grandiose to improve myself, rather small and simple things.
So, here are my goals for the month of September:
Read scriptures daily
I do set aside time for it each day in my OCD day planning, but never seem to actually sit down and do it. It really does enrich my life when I make the time for it. I'm more in tune with myself and with the spirit and can just seem to handle life better.
See people/situations as they are
I have the problem with internalizing/projecting my feelings. When I feel a certain way about my self (ex: disappointed), I immediately assume that everyone else does, too. When I don't particularly like myself or think I look fat, I think everyone else feels the same way, piling on the misery. Really, this is my number one problem in life. I don't see things as they are, I see them a I am (see more here). I know that I can stop doing this - it just takes a lot of self-control.
I also want to see the best in the people around me - to recognize that each and every person is a child of God and give them the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to do their very best.
Love with patience and optimism
Everyone deserves a little patience. I need to count to 10 more and give the people around me a chance before casting judgment, as mentioned above. I also need to stop allowing myself to focus on the negative. Not only does it make me feel icky, but I know it pushes people away. I will start conversations on a positive note. If I have something negative to say, I'll say 3 positive things first.
Be open - don't control - allow things to happen in their own way
When things get stressful, I become a control freak. I try to perfectly orchestrate things so that nothing can go awry. Unfortunately, keeping such tight reigns on my life is not only exhausting, but also takes the magic out of living. Wonderful things happen on their own all of the time when you're not forcing things along. You're able to experience a little whimsy and sometimes the best memories come out of spontaneity. Also, when I loosen the reigns, I allow the Lord to have more of a hand in my life and allow Him to lead me on the paths that will make me into a better me - that make my weaknesses strengths.
I will keep tabs via my own little accountability chart to remind me to do these things each day and hope that these goals will make me a happier, more edified me next month at this time.
I also want to record on this blog my Intuitive Eating process, but will hold off on that for another post. It's going to be separate from my happiness project, but just as important.
Happy September!
Friday, August 24, 2012
Why this blog?
In the title of my blog, I have the Buddhist quote, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." In just three days, I have had experiences that have made me want to be more teachable, to transcend myself, and the learning moments have just flowed into my life. My teacher has appeared.
I created this blog probably months ago. I wanted to write, but I didn't know what to write about - and I liked the title. So, I snagged it up and waited. I've blogged before - mostly about my family and adorable children, but this blog will be different. While they will make occasional appearances, this blog will focus on my growth as I seek greater satisfaction in my life.
Two days ago, I had probably the grumpiest, most frustrating day I've had in quite some time. I overslept, got ready in record time (30 minutes is amazing for me), had a stressful day at work, came home to grumpy bumpkins, and ran everyone and their dog to a different activity throughout the evening until at the end of the night I was in tears from sheer exhaustion. The one bright spot of my day was during my 7:30 p.m. trip to Costco with my exhausted little ones in tow, when a book, "The Happiness Project" screamed out at me and begged me to take it home. It felt like serendipity. I rarely look through the books - especially when I'm in a huge hurry - but it was there by itself - no other copies around - and it magically ended up in my hands and then my cart and has since taken up residence in my purse to be perused at every available opportunity. I'm only on my 3rd chapter and already I'm inspired. And I have something to write about.
The next day I woke up exhausted, dragged myself to work, which took me from meeting to meeting. During a short break I received a call from my husband, informing me that my 90-year-old grandmother, my only living grandparent, had passed away. My immediate reaction was, of course, heartbreak. But, not for the obvious reasons. I have a belief system that insures me that I will see my loved ones after this life and that they will be united with those that they love who have already passed on. I've always been able to enjoy a certain measure of peace when I've lost someone dear to me. I was sad, however, because I never really had a chance to tell her goodbye.
My family moved to Utah from Texas five years ago and it was one of the most emotionally difficult situations of my life. I love Texas. It is my home. My family has lived there since before it was established as a state. I have deep roots there and it is a part of me. And, the people are amazing. On top of all of this, my daughter was only 3 months old and I was still wading through all of those powerful post-pregnancy emotions. When it was time to go, I avoided goodbyes the best I could. I wanted to believe that I'd be back soon enough and be able to see everyone again when I was in a more stable emotional state. I haven't had a chance to make it back yet. I never gave her a proper goodbye.
Throughout the entire day yesterday, my mind went through the courses of her life. I've tried to learn as much as I could about her life recently - it's been a mystery for quite some time - mostly because it was rather difficult. But, I feel like I've been able to learn a lot about who she was and what she went through. And, I thought, how quickly it must have passed for her. And how quickly my life is passing. I feel like I was 14 years old just yesterday and that was 20 years ago. I want to relish in every moment of my life and find joy in it and treasure my time with those I love.
So, in accordance with "The Happiness Project," I have created my list of "resolutions," though I hate that word. Everyone breaks resolutions. I want to make them my areas of improvement. Each month I will focus on a new area, adding upon what I had been working on. In the book, she focuses on something new each month for a year, but I don't think I'll give myself a limitation. I like constant improvement.
My 'areas of improvement' currently are as follows (not in any particular order):
I created this blog probably months ago. I wanted to write, but I didn't know what to write about - and I liked the title. So, I snagged it up and waited. I've blogged before - mostly about my family and adorable children, but this blog will be different. While they will make occasional appearances, this blog will focus on my growth as I seek greater satisfaction in my life.
Two days ago, I had probably the grumpiest, most frustrating day I've had in quite some time. I overslept, got ready in record time (30 minutes is amazing for me), had a stressful day at work, came home to grumpy bumpkins, and ran everyone and their dog to a different activity throughout the evening until at the end of the night I was in tears from sheer exhaustion. The one bright spot of my day was during my 7:30 p.m. trip to Costco with my exhausted little ones in tow, when a book, "The Happiness Project" screamed out at me and begged me to take it home. It felt like serendipity. I rarely look through the books - especially when I'm in a huge hurry - but it was there by itself - no other copies around - and it magically ended up in my hands and then my cart and has since taken up residence in my purse to be perused at every available opportunity. I'm only on my 3rd chapter and already I'm inspired. And I have something to write about.
The next day I woke up exhausted, dragged myself to work, which took me from meeting to meeting. During a short break I received a call from my husband, informing me that my 90-year-old grandmother, my only living grandparent, had passed away. My immediate reaction was, of course, heartbreak. But, not for the obvious reasons. I have a belief system that insures me that I will see my loved ones after this life and that they will be united with those that they love who have already passed on. I've always been able to enjoy a certain measure of peace when I've lost someone dear to me. I was sad, however, because I never really had a chance to tell her goodbye.
My family moved to Utah from Texas five years ago and it was one of the most emotionally difficult situations of my life. I love Texas. It is my home. My family has lived there since before it was established as a state. I have deep roots there and it is a part of me. And, the people are amazing. On top of all of this, my daughter was only 3 months old and I was still wading through all of those powerful post-pregnancy emotions. When it was time to go, I avoided goodbyes the best I could. I wanted to believe that I'd be back soon enough and be able to see everyone again when I was in a more stable emotional state. I haven't had a chance to make it back yet. I never gave her a proper goodbye.
Throughout the entire day yesterday, my mind went through the courses of her life. I've tried to learn as much as I could about her life recently - it's been a mystery for quite some time - mostly because it was rather difficult. But, I feel like I've been able to learn a lot about who she was and what she went through. And, I thought, how quickly it must have passed for her. And how quickly my life is passing. I feel like I was 14 years old just yesterday and that was 20 years ago. I want to relish in every moment of my life and find joy in it and treasure my time with those I love.
So, in accordance with "The Happiness Project," I have created my list of "resolutions," though I hate that word. Everyone breaks resolutions. I want to make them my areas of improvement. Each month I will focus on a new area, adding upon what I had been working on. In the book, she focuses on something new each month for a year, but I don't think I'll give myself a limitation. I like constant improvement.
My 'areas of improvement' currently are as follows (not in any particular order):
- Wisdom
- Creativity
- Confidence
- Loving Patience (Charity) - particularly as a wife and mother
- House of Happiness & Order
- ...but loosen the OCD reigns
- Energy
- Peace
- Breaking Barriers
- Friendship
- Faith
- Healthy Body & Mind
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