Assume the Good

Able, Acceptance

“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am.”

            -Thomas Merton

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a training session at my work on Emotional
Intelligence. I spent five years studying Interpersonal Communication, so I ate this one up! During the training, we were asked to take an assessment on how effectively we perceive others and ourselves. My perception of others and their communication with me was off the charts. I can read people well, relate to how they are feeling, and know how to work effectively with them. However, when it comes to knowing who I am and how I’m feeling, well, I kind of suck at it. I realized after taking this assessment that I often base my opinion of myself off of what others think of me, whether they communicate their feelings toward me verbally or I perceive it from their actions and behaviors. This, of course, is an extremely risky way to build a self-assessment. I can spend half of my day feeling awesome because I’m around happy, positive people, and then turn around and walk around with a dark cloud hanging over my head because I was around a negative, critical person. That’s just no way to live. But, that is how I’ve lived my life.

So, I think I, finally, have found a real purpose for this blog. Discovering who I am and helping that person shine through. I heard from someone that it shouldn’t be a focus on what I want to do – because making a to do list that I just don’t have the time or energy to follow will just be disheartening. I should focus on what I want to be. So, this is what I will do.

As I was taking time to think this morning (which is a rare opportunity – to have enough solitude and quiet to actually think), I decided that today I would focus on being able and accepting. To be able, I will allow myself to believe that I can do just about anything. I actually took 5 minutes to do that 40-30-20-10 workout that boasts burning 100 calories, which seems to be a stretch (40 jumping jacks, 30 crunches, 20 squats, 10 pushups). I did it because I had a few minutes of waiting for my daughter this morning. I did it because I could, and it added just a little extra boost to my morning, giving me a bit more greatly needed energy. Allowing me to be able has also opened up the windows of my mind and made a better writer and communicator at work. I’ve had a pretty intense block the last while and it was wonderful to feel that freeing, able feeling.

In being accepting, I not only will let others be who they are and love them for it, but to let myself be who I am and love myself for it (it’s OK that I continuously leave my car keys by the kitchen sink!). Granted, I’m still figuring out who I am (well, I figured it out a long time ago, I’m reacquainting myself with me), but I am allowing myself to be absolutely accepting of the person I am and love the person I am.

I have to say, that this new way of looking at things has been very freeing. I’ve felt happier today than I have in quite some time. My self worth does not stem on what others think of me or on how they perceive me. They don’t know every part of me and have no leg to stand on in their judgments. Nor do they have a right to judge me – especially negatively. Only I truly know myself and only once I fully come to love and accept the person I am will other areas of my life come in order and bring joy to me and those around me.