Silver Lining

Stress.

I am totally stressed. And, I really need to vent. Hope you don't mind. But, I have a little rule with my kids that when the complain, they have to rattle off three good things about what they're complaining about. I want them to grow up with positive attitudes and not be little pessimists. So, in the spirit of avoiding hypocrisy (and keeping up with the happy theme I'm trying to maintain here), here I go...

I am in charge of a HUGE event at my work. An event that happens only once every seven years and it's in 17 days. I've been at my job for a little more than three months and have built this event into the awesomeness that it's going to be. Everything's coming together, but there are still some loose ends. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about this event. In short, I'm kind of freaking out like all of the time. And, then there are the people who have already been to prior such events who just aren't interested in going because they've 'been there, seen that,' even though mine is going to be WAY better. They'll be missing out. And then there's the friend of mine who's being a total jerk face about the whole thing and mocking it every time I turn around. Seriously - he's like that stupid kid who taunts a snarling dog. Keep it up, and you're going to get snapped at. I've had to exercise immense self control around him.
Good things:
1. I'm not married to the punk. His poor wife. So grateful for my wonderful husband who knows better (and just has more sense and isn't a total social retard) and wouldn't keep acting like an idiot after seeing that it clearly annoys me.
2. This event WILL go off without a hitch. I know it.
3. In 18 days, it will be done and I will have relief. I'll also probably be sick. Just watch. September 16. Anyone want to take bets?

School has started. I have a kindergartener who is in half a day and it's heartbreaking for me not to spend that time with her, a 2nd grader who's had a hard first week after an over-indulged summer, an 8th grader who's going through 8th grade drama, and my husband in his 2nd year of nursing school and the zombification that it holds.
1. I have children. Every day I'm so so so grateful to have them and to be their mother. I feel like I was specially blessed with my children.
2. My husband's in his 2nd year of nursing school - we're almost done (sort of)! The school he's going to is impossible to get in and he's almost done with this program! Seriously, even with his 4.0, he didn't get in until his second try.
3. I'm not an 8th grader anymore. Nor will I ever have to be. Halleluiah!

On top of school, we have piano lessons, dance classes, and (soon) cub scouts to truck everyone to. And, let me tell you, dance shoes/clothes for two girls.... well, I don't even want to talk about that.
1. My girls are in dance. I danced. It's so good for you - body, mind, spirit, identity - everything.
2. My son is a very talented pianist. I know, I sound like a mom tooting her own horn, but it's true. Just ask his teacher.
3. We can provide these things for our family.

This darn blog. I love to write. I'm one of those truly weird people who just love it. That's why I'm keeping this blog. That, and it's my own happiness project - an opportunity for me to record my growth. But, seriously, no one reads this thing and a girl needs a little ego stroking every now and again. I think my readership is 1 person. Whoever you are, thank you (most likely mom or dad...). Of course, it could just be me checking my blog before signing in to post something...
1. It's an opportunity for me to be creative. Creativity breeds more creativity.
2. There is a slight possibility that maybe some day somebody might read it and take something positive from it. Maybe.
3. It's a great sounding board for me. I'm highly visual. When I read things I understand them. When I write down my feelings, I understand myself.

And, finally, the stress bloat. Something horrible happens to my body when I stress. I bloat. Like a balloon. I'm sure it's not that bad, but I sure notice it. I don't think it's weight gain (wouldn't know, I've created a new rule about the scale - we don't talk) because the only place affected is my abdomen. My digestion gets all whacked out when I'm stressed. I'll stop there to save you, singular reader. But, I bloat out and some of my cute pants don't button and then I get sad and more stressed and bloat out some more.
1. This will pass. The big event will be over and I'll deflate.
2. I can honestly say that I'm generally the same size I've always been. I've never been model thin - never will be - but I still wear the same size jeans that I did in high school.
3. Seriously, how is it possible to find a 3rd silver lining to stress bloat?!