I created this blog probably months ago. I wanted to write, but I didn't know what to write about - and I liked the title. So, I snagged it up and waited. I've blogged before - mostly about my family and adorable children, but this blog will be different. While they will make occasional appearances, this blog will focus on my growth as I seek greater satisfaction in my life.
Two days ago, I had probably the grumpiest, most frustrating day I've had in quite some time. I overslept, got ready in record time (30 minutes is amazing for me), had a stressful day at work, came home to grumpy bumpkins, and ran everyone and their dog to a different activity throughout the evening until at the end of the night I was in tears from sheer exhaustion. The one bright spot of my day was during my 7:30 p.m. trip to Costco with my exhausted little ones in tow, when a book, "The Happiness Project" screamed out at me and begged me to take it home. It felt like serendipity. I rarely look through the books - especially when I'm in a huge hurry - but it was there by itself - no other copies around - and it magically ended up in my hands and then my cart and has since taken up residence in my purse to be perused at every available opportunity. I'm only on my 3rd chapter and already I'm inspired. And I have something to write about.
The next day I woke up exhausted, dragged myself to work, which took me from meeting to meeting. During a short break I received a call from my husband, informing me that my 90-year-old grandmother, my only living grandparent, had passed away. My immediate reaction was, of course, heartbreak. But, not for the obvious reasons. I have a belief system that insures me that I will see my loved ones after this life and that they will be united with those that they love who have already passed on. I've always been able to enjoy a certain measure of peace when I've lost someone dear to me. I was sad, however, because I never really had a chance to tell her goodbye.
My family moved to Utah from Texas five years ago and it was one of the most emotionally difficult situations of my life. I love Texas. It is my home. My family has lived there since before it was established as a state. I have deep roots there and it is a part of me. And, the people are amazing. On top of all of this, my daughter was only 3 months old and I was still wading through all of those powerful post-pregnancy emotions. When it was time to go, I avoided goodbyes the best I could. I wanted to believe that I'd be back soon enough and be able to see everyone again when I was in a more stable emotional state. I haven't had a chance to make it back yet. I never gave her a proper goodbye.
Throughout the entire day yesterday, my mind went through the courses of her life. I've tried to learn as much as I could about her life recently - it's been a mystery for quite some time - mostly because it was rather difficult. But, I feel like I've been able to learn a lot about who she was and what she went through. And, I thought, how quickly it must have passed for her. And how quickly my life is passing. I feel like I was 14 years old just yesterday and that was 20 years ago. I want to relish in every moment of my life and find joy in it and treasure my time with those I love.
So, in accordance with "The Happiness Project," I have created my list of "resolutions," though I hate that word. Everyone breaks resolutions. I want to make them my areas of improvement. Each month I will focus on a new area, adding upon what I had been working on. In the book, she focuses on something new each month for a year, but I don't think I'll give myself a limitation. I like constant improvement.
My 'areas of improvement' currently are as follows (not in any particular order):
- Wisdom
- Creativity
- Confidence
- Loving Patience (Charity) - particularly as a wife and mother
- House of Happiness & Order
- ...but loosen the OCD reigns
- Energy
- Peace
- Breaking Barriers
- Friendship
- Faith
- Healthy Body & Mind
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